Allahyarham Sudirman

 Hellooo.

Harini mood dengar lagu lagu Sudirman. time tengah scroll instagram, tiba tiba ada orang cakap pasal lagu P.Ramlee Tunggu Sekejap. Lepastu aku jenis malas buat playlist kat spotify, so aku play je lagu tu and biar je next lagu random keluar. Sampai la kat lagu Sudirman - Terasing. 

Tiba tiba rasa sedih sebab lirik dia. Rasa macam lagu untuk ex wife dia, aku agak je la based on lyrics tapi rasanya ya. Sebab pernah baca dia sayang gila ex wife dia kan. Aku pun google la pasal Sudirman. Baru sedar dia meninggal 22/2/1992. Then baru sedar tarikh harini 22/2/2024. Coincidentally. 

Dia macam takde la nak fikir bukan bukan ke apa just secara kebetulan and i feel like writing it here. Lepas lagu Terasing aku dengar lagu Salam Terakhir lepastu tiba tiba nangis. Rasa macam sampai betul sedih dia. Bila baca lagi pasal arwah, ada yang cakap lagu dia bukan sekadar lagu, tapi meratap. Maybe sebab tu kot extra sedih dengar 😢

Anyway Alfatihah Allahyarham Sudirman. Patut la mak aku selalu cakap suka gila lagu lagu Sudirman. Truly evergreen. 

we old now man - of slip disc and hospitals

 hello

a lotttttt of things happened last week and everything happened so quickly so i nak letak sini mana tau tiba tiba lupa. cehwah macam la rajin nak baca balik kan. 

so last week Friday morning 23/06/2023, husband aku tiba tiba mengadu tak boleh gerak langsung and belakang dia sakit gila. which backpain tu memang dah lama dah dia sakit. dah pergi klinik, dah urut dah chiro but still semua elok temporary je. tapi this time around sakit sampai nak gerak kaki pun tak boleh. tapi him being him, still nak jugak hantar anak pi sekolah sendiri. Padahal kereta besar tu aku boleh je ya bawak. Dalam sakit2 dok risau apa2 jadi hshshs.

aku dah cakap jom pergi hospital, kena marah. buat apa semua kena marah sebab tengah sakit. at last tengok dia sampai dah termelutut (cause he cant stand or sit properly), aku terus call 999, mintak ambulans datang. Dia sambungkan ke ambulans, aku tanya hospital mana ya. "Hospital Serdang puan". ah sudah. Tau je la gomen kalau tunggu berapa lama pulak, plus ramai, plus HAVE YOU SEEN HOSPITAL SERDANG??? hellooo parking dia sampai tepi kuil sana ha punya jauh. aku terus cakap "oh okay takpe saya call swasta."

nasib baik office dia ada hospital panel. between KPJ or Columbia Asia. KPJ memang kitorang dah banned sebab lama and tak function. thats another post for another day gituuu. hshshs. Terus mintak GL untuk Columbia Asia kat belakang rumah ni. Nak panggil ambulans dia kata kena call nombor lain pulak. Again, my husband being my husband, dia gigih naik motor ya pergi hospital. Alasan biar aku kat rumah ambik anak2 incase dia kena warded. Taknak aku serabut sekali kat hospital.

aku tunggu kat rumah. aku EL time tu sebab dah fikir nak jaga dia. Sakit lain macam sampai nak bangun makan pun tak boleh. Sementara tunggu dia update kat hospital. nak tenangkan diri aku main PS dulu hshshshhs. Sejam lebih nak dekat dua jam dia update cakap kena slip disc and kena operate. Siap cakap jangan datang sebab dia tak suka orang datang tengok dia sakit. haizzzzz

ingat aku nak dengar? memang tak la. besok tu aku datang tunggu dia habis operation kat tepi katil dia hshshs. merasa la tengok live orang under influence ubat tidur tu idk the medical terms lah kan, tapi nurse dah cakap "dia mamai ya biar dia tidur." masalahnya mamai2 pun dia merapu tu dia sedar. ada la pi buat mini heart, peace, menyanyi bagai. last2 dia tertidur. finally tidur betul sebab dia kata for the past 24 hours dia tak boleh tidur betul2. diri salah, duduk salah.

lama gak aku kat hospital, sampai tertidur sebelah dia. nasib tak sorang lagi pulak slip disc kan tidur tak betul atas kerusi hshshhs. nauzubillah weh nanti takleh dokong anak tak best. petang tu aku tunggu dia boleh diri boleh duduk, dah makan semua, then baru aku balik. btw sedap gila ya makanan columbia asia. aku makan kari dia time suap husband aku makan.

budak2? kat rumah dengan mak aku &  kakak aku. yang bongoknya aku nak mintak orang tengokkan anak aku. before pi hospital aku boleh cakap kat anak first "mama nak gi hospital okay. doktor potong belakang papa nak bagi papa tak sakit lagi." kau rasa??? tak meraung budak tu dengar bapak dia nak kena potong hahahhahaha. kakak aku marah aku sebab sebut perkataan potong tu ahhahahaha.

total bill RM50k plus. dudeeee kalau GL company aku tak lepas ya max untuk inpatient 40k sajorh. so sekarang kitorang tengah usha2 nak carik medical card sendiri selain berharap GL company je sebab apa2 jadi mak serammmm mana nak cekau duit. nak masuk gomen, tunggu la kau berjam jam. yo insurance agents tak salah eh diorang guna waktu menunggu lama kat gomen untuk tarik orang ambik medical card.

time dah tau slip disc tu, aku search la kat google nak tau extra la konon. ternampak ada akak ni 3 kali appointment baru boleh buat MRI ya kat GH. ye la faham sebab ramai kan. GH doctors dia tak dinafikan memang power tapi waiting time tu...........mak tak sanggup.

ni dah lepas seminggu operation Alhamdulillah he's getting better. bangun pun takde dah asyik pegang pinggang macam dulu. duduk pun tegak. 

ok dah nak pukul 7 pagi ngantuk dah. byeee

Raya 2023

 Hellooo.

Macam biasa pukul 6 pagi update blog ya. Hshshs. Tadi blackout lepastu terjaga dah sampai sekarang tak boleh tidur. 

Tak tak, ni bukan zaman dulu nak letak gambar raya 44 keping dalam blog. Just nak cerita yang this year's raya i (we) am finally able to accept guests to come over for raya. and i love it!!! hahahhaa. suka masak pastu orang makan. before this memang orang nak datang raya pun selected je nok. yang datang 2-3 kepala je. sebab i tak reti le nak masak banyak2 nak agak sorang makan berapa banyak hshshs.

also bulan puasa haritu buat 2 kuih raya. which i think saved me a lot? wuahahha padahal tak pun. beli barang baking je dah nak beratus hahah. tapi better than beli kuih raya berapa ratus dapat beberapa jenis tapi sebenarnya tak sedap pun. worse, dari dough yang sama je dia tukar2 itu ini. kerepek2 mak aku dengan MIL bagi, ah gabung2 cukup 6 balang. 

Paling laku is chocolate chip ya. Buat 2 kali, each batch dapat dalam 2 bekas tupperware berapa ml tah. 2 bekas je buat makan tuan rumah sendiri hshshs. Next year nak buat lagi banyak, insyaAllah. 

Oh nak get back to topic pasal tetamu, haritu family aku, adik beradik semua berkumpul kat sini including makcik aku, her husband and their 3 kids. Total 23 orang. Kelam kabut gak la masak (padahal dari pagi dah masak benda simple je pulak tu macaroni bakar hshsh), lepastu beli dominos kat grabfood baru teringat eh raya ada ke rider. nasib baik dominos hantar guna delivery dia. aku dah cuak eh sebab aku masak benda ringan je, bukan juadah raya. Kenapa? sebab sebelum tu diorang raya rumah kakak aku so aku target semua datang sini dah kenyang hahaha.

lepastu bestfriend datang raya, hari jumaat ya, which besoknya tu nak balik johor. kelam kabut aku in between teams calls, replying emails, kemas rumah, mandikan anak, at the same time nak masak sambal. aku buat nasi lemak btw. time aku buat sambal kawan aku datang. nasib kawan baik pandai dia buat cam rumah sendiri, amik cawan, amik air sendiri. hshshshshs i love my friends!!

patutnya 3 orang datang (minus their plus ones), tapi sorang nak gerak dari banting kul 7 camtu. so aku terpaksa tolak sebab banting ke kajang berapa lama pulak kau, besok nak kena bangun awal pi johor. plus it was raining at that time. tapi hopefully petang ni ada rezeki jumpaaaa. in the end ada 2 org kawan aku datang on that day. habis nasi lemak yeay akak lega. kawan aku siap cakap kat husband dia "yang kita kena datang rumah dia yang. rumah dia ni susah nak dapat datang ni."

kakakkakaka ye la for the past 6 years kot asal orang nak datang je either aku balik kampung (dulu balik kampung husband for raya lama gila ya i nak nangis setiap kali balik ahahha but yeah we'll save that story for another post gitchewww as if ada orang baca selain kau) or anak tak sihat. selalu antara dua tu je la.

Okay la dah 6.30 aku pun dah ngantuk nak tidur balik byeee

Through The Darkness & The Rain Coat Killer

 Helloo.

Morning. Wau updating this at 6:59AM while kids are still sleeping. Dulu update mesti 2-3 pagi and tak tidur malam. hshs. Not missing those days though. Macam mana la boleh tahan tak tidur malam/sampai 3-4 pagi baru nak tidur. 

So anyway, cause i still want to keep my blog alive, here i am still updating up to this day. Where orang lain semua buat post panjang berjela on ig, sorry mak tak kuasa. Feel tak sama type kat phone dengan on keyboard. Also aku tak baca pun caption karangan panjang2 tu hshshs. Macam tu la jugak orang tak baca pun blog aku ni lulz. 

Decided to update pasal tengok drama apa je lah. Nak update pasal colleague tu dah kat twitter. Kakakaka reason why i keep my twitter acc locked. ALL. THE. TIME. but i did not invest much to tweet about them. who are yousss aku ada banyak benda lain nak fikir dari tweet pasal orang. Dah masuk 30 nok apa jadah nak buat perangai 13 tahun lepas.

Anyway latest kdrama that i watched recently was Through The Darkness. DAH LAMA NAK TENGOK PLEASE. tapi baru keluar netflix kot sebab dulu check takde. Cerita pasal experience korean criminal profiler and how dia solve serial killings kat korea guna kepakaran dia. All based on true stories. Tapi semalam ada came across a twitter thread about Hwaseong Cases (you can google it though), case tu lagi gore dari dalam cerita. Dalam cerita pun aku tengok nak muntah, bila baca real case ya Allah scary dia lain macam. 

I highly recommend yall to watch this drama. I was not really a fan of violent, crime thriller kinda genre, tapi i got hooked up with this one and tengok sampai habis within a week. ye lepastu tidur malam macam2 fikir sampai lock pintu check multiple times.

Kim Nam Gil, yang bawak watak the korean profiler [source]

The actual Korea criminal profiler [source]

I tau cerita ni actually dari facebook, macam kat media kan ada orang suka cut cut scenes dari drama, so tertengok scene dia interrogate  this guy on the first case in the drama. Instead of doing it the normal way, dia suruh mamat tu tulis rumah mana yang dia pecah masuk. 

Mamat tu ingat salah dia kecik la sebab dia pecah rumah je, ambik barang time takde orang. Tapi the profiler boleh ajak dia borak sampai dia unintentionally terconfess crime yang dia buat. I rasa ada la more than 20 times i tengok scene ni hshshs. Its like my go to thing to watch before sleeping. 

[source]

Sebab scene ni je yang interrogation dia tak gore. Yang case lepas lepas ni terus rasa nak muntah everytime diorang describe case yang diorang buat. 

Also cases yang dia solve tu, lama ya, Hwaseong cases tu lama 30 tahun baru resolve. Tengok dalam cerita memang la nampak kejap sebab dia lajukan timeline tu kan. 

Antoher case yang dia solve was the Raincoat Killer case. i taktau ni tajuk kat netflix or memang diorang guna panggilan tu untuk dia kat korea. Boleh tengok documentary dia kat netflix. Dulu pernah try tengok tapi macam mengantuk mengantuk nak tidur mana time tengok. Lepas tengok Through The Darkness try tengok balik nak tengok sama tak dengan dalam drama. And ye sama and lagi gore and geli and sedih😢😢😢😢

[source]

At first i ingatkan dia dapat nama tu sebab dia pakai raincoat everytime dia bunuh orang, tapi rupanya tak. Time dah kena tangkap tu polis yang bagi raincoat tu untuk tutup muka dia. Tapi dia memang babi la and scaryyyy mental semua ada. Alasan bunuh, bunuh orang tua kaya sebab time kecik dia susah,. Then bunuh perempuan sebab kena tinggal dengan awek. Bunuh is one thing. then dia boleh study pasal anatomy sebab wey i dah type i backspace balik sebab nak termuntah type.

Anway, thanks to Through The Darkness i discovered Kim Nam Gil, and just like how i discovered PSJ and decided to stan him and watched most of his drama, i will do the same to stan Kim Nam Gil. hshshhs. So far baru tengok Memoirs of a Murderer and otw nak tengok The Fiery Priest.

[source]

Bye!

Kdrama not so review

Hi.

Sebab aku penat buat kerja so aku nak cerita jap cerita apa aku tengok for the past few weeks. Sekarang kalau layan kdrama aku carik yang episodes <16. Malassss nak tunggu sampai 16 episode unless cerita tu betul2 menarik and tak cliche hshs.

1. The Glory

The glory best nak mampus please. Cerita pasal perempuan ni kena buli brutally time kat highschool sampai dia dropout. And then took her 10-20 years to plan everything for a revenge. Gituu. Cerita genre macam ni biasa slow sendu je kan, tapi The Glory tak. Tapi yang tak bestnya lagi 8 episode dia sambung bulan March. zzzz.

Songhye Kyo cantik gila please even dah 41. And pelakon dia ambik time high school dengan current scene muka lebih kurang sama je. Tapi actually takde la sama sangat. Yang Jaejun tu la the most similar kot. Ada angle2 maybe. Yang best cerita is the revenge part. Time bully tu macam gore gak la letak iron rambut tu kat kulit. 

Source

2. Gaus Electronics

Lepas tengok cerita genre stress, kena tengok cerita genre bodoh2 shshs. Aku memang dah lama nak tengok cerita ni tapi takde kat Netflix. and not sure ada kat Viu ke tak. and if ada pun aku malas nak subscribe banyak2 benda. So kawan aku suggest 1 app ni untuk tengok drama2 latest semua ada kat situ la. Apps apa? Rahsia hikhikhik. Nanti terpaling data privacy pi report kang maleh aque.

Cerita ni.....sebenarnya taktau apa main plot dia tapi maybe typical love story dari 2 orang yang benci each other tapi ended up jatuh cinta. Aaa gituu. Tapi tu pun bukan main plot citer ni. Dia takde main plot. Baru nak scene serious tiber2 ada benda bodoh jadi. Kalau tengok preview untuk next episode nampak macam serious, takyah la percaya hahahhaha. Aku gelak macam bangang tengok cerita ni.

Nak tengok sebab Kwak Dong Yeon je sebenarnya. Tapi watak si Ma Tan (yang pegang kuda putih) tu lagi menonjol bodoh dia 😭😂

Recommended tengok kalau tengah stress. 

source

3. Weak Hero Class 1

Ni baru habis tengok semalam ke kelmarin tah. Lepas cerita bangag kena tengok cerita serious balik. Bagi otak refresh and neutral hshshs. Ni aku rasa dari webtoon/manhwa. Cerita pasal buli2 jugak tapi scene sekolah/remaja. Watak utama dia aku tak kenal tapi suara dalam nak mampus Park Ji Hoon tu. Tapi bila google ya Allah typical kpop weh lain dari dalam drama tu T__T.

Cerita ni scene gaduh dia real la sampai aku tutup2 mata gak laa tengok. First episode dah scary yet satisfying bila dia tumbuk pembuli dia. Aku terjumpa scene tu kat youtube please watch at your own risk. Tengok starting minit ke 40. 

source

Choi Hyun Wook tu macam awkward sikit tengok watak dia sebab last 2 kdrama tengok dia bukan watak pukul2 orang gitu. hahah. Tapi okay je. Yang paling annoying mesti la nerd tu. Sampai sekarang akitorang (mewakili orang lain kat twitter yang tweet watak dia hshshs) tak maafkan kau ye tang ina mo Oh Bum Seok!!!

Si nerd tu dah lah lemah lepastu ada hati nak blame orang yang tolong dia time dia kena buli?? Lepastu dah upah orang nak belasah orang, bila orang dah lembik baru nak sambung belasah gae sekkiya bagai kan shibal kau Bum Seok. 

NotSoFunfact pasal orang nerd kat sekolah aku dulu. Lepas SPM dia ada chat aku kat YM ke friendster entah dia cakap "aku tau laa korang dulu jalan belakang aku lepastu gelak2 kan aku kan." Ha pesen cam Bum Seok ni la perasan diri terpaling penting sampai semua orang kena cakap pasal dia. Aku takleh lupa benda ni sebab kena tuduh hshshs. Now bini sama naik annoying nak mampus kat instagram. Lah tiber masuk citer lain

Anyway, looking forward to Season 2!!! Kecuali Gaus Electronics kalau ada season 2 tak masuk akal hahaha. Umpama kampung people nak ada sampai 3 season, makcun nak ada sampai 4 season. Sangat tak masuk akal. 

Dah nak lunch time bye.

A december to remember

 Wah gittew tajuk. Yea its only december 11th and lots of things happened already. From good news to not so good news to nauseating news (NOT pregnant).

Penatttt. Its like that time when i got retrenched. Macam “bila nak habis phase ni.” Or at that time when i was pregnant with my 2nd “bila nak beranak ni penat dah bawak perut”. Then dah beranak “bila nak keluar ward ni”.

Being a grown up sucks. You have the money but not the time. Cheyy padahal money pun kejap je ada. Lepastu as what my husband used to say “menghitung, menunggu gaji” *cue aiman tino lagu apa tah*.

Haihhh cepat la habis this phaseeee im tiredddd. Nak happy pergi kedai belakang dengan budak2 ni beli ice cream.

Oh talk about ice cream. I asked my first born “nanti nak gi mana?” As in bercuti di mana. Dia boleh jawab “nak pergi kedaiii”.

😒😒😒😒 pi la hang mama nak pi laut penat.

Bye

twenty five twenty one

Morning.

Selamat berpuasaaa semuaaa. So semalam aku baru habis K-drama, more like k-trauma to some hshsh. Twenty-Five Twenty-One. Main lead dia Kim Tae-ri dengan Nam Joo-hyuk. Kim Tae-ri tak pernah tengok dia berlakon and kalau tengok genre previous movie/drama dia pun bukan genre yang aku minat. Nam Joo-hyuk pulak first tengok dia berlakon cerita Startup which unfortunately ramai orang tak suka dia jadi main lead sebab 2nd lead punya character overpower dia main lead punya character. Or sebab viewers bodoh kot tak faham beza main lead (muda, baru nak try itu ini, tak matang) dengan 2nd lead (in his thirties, know what he's doing, matang etc, kaya hshsh).

Anyway, bukan nak cerita pasal startup. Nak cerita pasal 2521. Episode 15 dengan 16 buat aku nangis teruk gila ya. Nangis sampai bengkak mata wey nasib baik work from home hshs. Taknak la letak ending kat sini even takde orang baca pun blog ni. Mana la tau orang came across this blog lepastu ternampak kan. Macam semalam la excited nak tengok episode 15 tiba tiba ternampak spoiler kat twitter siapa tah which aku tak follow pun tapi keluar kat suggested tweets. vavik betul.

2521 ni cerita pasal diorang punya zaman twenties. The transition they showed starting from middle school to high school, lepastu kerja. The reality of people with dreams, and people who didnt actually have a dream. Entah lah nak type ni tiba2 takde idea pulak. Padahal dah sampai on PC ni selalunya membuak2 hshsh.

All i wanna say is, Im glad that everything happened in my twenties, happened. Glad for the people who came by even not for long. Glad for all the memories be it joyful or not. Sure my twenties werent as reckless as the one in the drama, but it wasnt that bad either. Met so many great people. From being a loner, to having a group of friends, to having less. From crushes to first loves and breakups. Im glad it happened after watching the drama. At least i've experienced all of it to be able to relate to the scenes in the drama. 

Was expecting a happy ending for #TwentyFiveTwentyOne finale but this is just the reality of life. You don't always end up with your first love, you change, you grow up, you forget & move on. But the people you met will always be part of who you are now.#TwentyFiveTwentyOneEp16 pic.twitter.com/qlCj8CPQ1b

— zee base 🗯 (@zygmaund) April 3, 2022

Love the part where the tweet says "The people you met will always be part of who you are now." True. All these while ive been thinking what would happen if i hadnt met this person, or what would happen if we actually forced it to happen. Takde la all these while sangat, dulu la hshshs. This drama answered it all. Also the way they portray the breakup, it was so painful yet beautiful., emm i wouldnt say beautiful but it was painful not in a bad way. yknow you cant force love agitchewww. 

i also love the part where hee do adviced her friends "breaking an engagement is easier than divorce". not condoning the act. but looking at how calm she was talking about it. she was able to be open about it. Compared to when she was with her first love, it didnt make her comfortable to talk about things like that. everything was forced. both were trying to please each other till it became emm like a forced love? not sure if its the right term lah but itu la apa yang saya fikir kan. wah. 

to relate to my experience, which wasnt that long pun but it was quite painful since it was considered the first time i was committed to a full time relationship. i am naturally not a talkative person. but with people i am comfortable with, i can talk about many things. lawak tak bertapis, gelak tak cover. i was like that only when i was friends with him. once we started to be a couple (muntahhh sebab umur dah 30 kot hahahhahaha) it didnt last long probably cause we didnt cliqued (betul ke term ni ek) that much. The topics, the songs. There was no fight since we wanted to "jaga hati" each other sangat. The topic differences, aku tak suka layan illuminati, tapi dia suka. entah2 antivaks dah dia sekarang hahahhha matilanakkk. I did listened to the songs that he suggested la tapi. That would be the only thing that remain sebab gi mam la bukan dengar lagu tu ingat kat dia pun, dengar sebab best ja. wkwkwk

Comparing it to my next relationship, i was able to be comfortable with my partner. was able to be open and share my thoughts. also he talks alot so thats a bonus cause i considered myself as a good listener. Also he tak kedekut so thats a bonus point for me. I tak suka orang berkira. 

aside from relationships, this drama also involves friendship dari middle school to highschool. Which i am glad there was no corona during my teenage years. tengok adik aku baru nak rasa life twenties, tiba tiba ada covid and kena terperap je kat rumah. tau2 dah internship, tau2 dah degree. Aku punya zaman U walaupun tak jauh dari rumah. Tapi jauh enough to be able to do all sorts of things with my friends. lepas dah buat baru bagitau parents "haritu pergi sini...buat tu..." hshshs. Convoy sampai 24 jam (unforgettable!), mandi sungai, panjat bukit, bukak puasa sama sama, road trips, kira2 duit siapa bayar berapa (kerja madihah but still paying it was part of the experience eh), the games that we played, the surprise birthday parties. i am soooo glad it happened. so glad i had friends during my uni days. They were the one who comforted me during my worst. Breakup was one of it. I remembered my friend even prayed for my happiness, prayed for the weight to be lifted off of me. Glad that she is still a part of my life up until now. 

Fast forward to bila Hee-do dah ada anak, she was able to let go and be happy to look back at all the things that happened. Which is relatable sebab aku pun dah ada anak?? hahahha. relatable sebab macam aku cakap la, you dont regret what happened before anymore. what seemed like a long process before has shaped me to be the person i am today. wah gittewww. 

man i love good drama like this. tak kisah la ramai yang tak puas hati. i loved it so much cause it changed my perspective on so many things. sempena bulan ramadhan ni aku secretly doa Nam Joo-hyuk dengan Kim Tae-ri akan sama sama IRL please. hahahaha.

Dah lah bye.